How the version of rape differs between men and women. Obviously these are not the men perpetrating the exact crimes that the women are responding about, but they are men and women who have been engaged in sexual assault with the men as the perpetrators.
Characteristic of Rape/Man's Version/Woman's Version
More than one attacker/16%/5%
Rapist hit victim/3%/9%
Woman took drugs or drank/75%/55%
Type of contact before/Below Waist/Above Waist
Amount of force man used/Mild to none/Moderate
Woman verbally told man to stop/36%/84%
Woman physically struggled/12%/70%
Event was definitely rape/1%/27%
The numbers I highlighted in red appall me. Men do not listen and they don't perceive physical and verbal resistance as real. It's not a joke, it's not a game, and it's not playing into some role-playing fantasy of yours.
These are from surveys done of undergraduate men in various East-Coast universities (714 students) The percentage indicates the percentage of students answering a 4 or 5 on a scale of 1-5 with 1 meaning strongly disagree, 2 meaning slightly disagree, 3 meaning neither agree nor disagree, 4 meaning slightly agree and 5 meaning strongly agree.
Statement/Percentage answering 4 or 5
I prefer relatively small women. 93.7%
I like to dominate a woman. 91.3%
I enjoy the conquest part of sex. 86.1%
Some women look like they're just asking to be raped. 83.5%
I get excited when a woman struggles over sex. 63.5%
It would be exciting to use force to subdue a woman. 61.7%
Have you ever looked at how men talk about sex with women and how they treat them as possessions?
"I could teach her a thing or two"
"I hope I score tonight"
"I could really put it to her"
or treat them as commodities...
"I bet I could get her if I tried."
"She was the best piece of ass I ever had"
"How would you like a piece of that?"
The list goes on and on... Men who view sex as something they get from a woman are already bordering on rape...
What about universities involved in fraternity gang rape situations? These are older events
- San Diego State University1985-At least 3 Pi Kappa Alpha members were accused of raping an 18 yr old Delta Gamma pledge at a party. The local DA said there wasn't enough evidence to prosecute despite the university charging 30 members for violation of the school's conduct policy after interviewing 45 individuals at the party.
- University of Florida 1983-Six Pi Lambda Phi members were accused of raping a freshman girl who was at the house for a "Little Sisters" rush event.
- University of Pennsylvania 1983-Nine Alpha Tau Omega were accused of raping a 22 yr old woman who was drunk and on LSD. No criminal charges were filed.
- University of Iowa-Three frat members pleaded guilty to assault causing great bodily injury to a 20 yr old woman in her dorm room.
- University of New Hampshire-Three sophomore boys (2 frat members) raped a drunk female in her dorm room. The university judicial board found all three not guilty of sexual assault, but two guilty of "disrespect to others" (whatever the fuck that means?) but a criminal court found two of the men guilty of sexual assault--60 days in jail and 120 hours community service.
- Franklin and Marshall College-Six member of Phi Sigma Kappa were accused of assaulting a woman from another university in their house during a party. The fraternity was removed from the university following this event.
- University of Virginia-a 17 yr old freshman became heavily intoxicated at a frat party and reports being restrained, stripped and raped by several men. She refused to press charges out of fear she would be disbelieved because she was drunk.
Now, what about a couple of college athletic teams coming to light over similar situations?
- University of Minnesota-Three basketball players were accused of raping a woman in a hotel in Madison following a victory. All 3 were acquitted of 12 counts of sexual assault, but all three were dismissed from the team following the allegations.
- West Virginia University-Five Basketball players were accused of raping a woman in her dorm room. No formal charges were filed but 2 were suspended for the season and 3 for one semester.
- Duquesne University-Four basketball players are charged with raping a woman in their dorm room. Charges were dropped against 3 of them and the 4th was acquitted. Two of the men were expelled from school and two were suspended.
Allegations of sexual misconduct do not end here... The reports of sexual assault by other athletes and sexual misconduct by organizations (University of Wisconsin Marching Band???) go on forever. These events negatively impact the lives of the affected women for the rest of their lives.
Once you take gang-rape or group assault out of the picture, the list gets exponentially longer-of women abused and raped one-on-one by men.
This is getting way too lengthy, but one more truly disturbing chart of results...
Men=% of men agreeing that it's ok to force sex in the situation
Women=% of women agreeing they deserve to have sex forced on them in the situation
Situation--Men--Women
-She is going to have sex with him --54%--31%
but changes her mind
-She has led him on --54% --26%
-She gets him sexually aroused --51%-- 42%
-They have dated for over 6 months --43% --32%
-She lets him touch her breasts already --39%-- 28%
42% of women think it's ok for a man to force them to have sex just because he got it up??? This number is revolting to me. I was once there, maybe I still am... I mean, doesn't it hurt a guy to not have sex once he's sexually aroused? I'm sad that such a large number of women believe this too... Women-It's not ok, it's never ok, I don't care if you've already started having sex with him, if you want to stop, it's over and done-no more... I know I struggle to say no, but at least I don't believe a man needs to have sex anymore...
Anyways, enough of this today, it's emotionally draining and has undoubtedly brought me down. It's ok though, sometimes things need to be said and I have an obligation to do so.
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